Why do I have an android tv when I can’t watch porn with it?

I for one will never buy another android tv again, ever.
Google is acting like this nanny how wants to tell you that watching porn is bad for you. No it’s not. I want to see naked bitches getting fucked and eat cum.
But Google has something to say there.
Not only can’t you download files with its default browser. Now you can’t even watch porn with the default browser anymore. This used to work last year.
So I installed some “Download” app, but in order to browse a webpage with that app you need to install a sideloaded browser…
or you can type in the very-long-url-that-cant-even-be-properly-repesented-here with the tv remote…
and so I did. I typed in that URL and it downloaded the .apk file of pornhub.
So now you think, happy end? Wrong.
First you have to go back into settings and enable apk files from untrusted sources.
Then you’re able to install the app on 2nd try. The UI is absolutely horrible.
Well nice, Porn at last? Nope.
The Pornhub Android app is written for a smartphone… or tablet…
That means… even if you can run the app, you can’t control it. So you see a list of all those nice tittes and pussies but you can’t tap them (pun intended) to see the action.
Nope a TV remote is apparently something completely different to a cursor.
So what’s next?
I installed Teamviewer Host, because hey it’s Teamviewer, they’re from to town where I live and TeamViewer has been working even on Linux so it’s going to work on Android TV, right?
Wrong!
First you have to provide credentials and entering those is another pain in the ass with a TV remote on Android TV, then you’re able to connect with the TV.
So all good now, yeah? Did you get your happy ending? Nope.
You can only observe, but not touch. So TeamViewer on Android TV is like that stripper.
Let’s explore TeamViewer, oh look you can install an add-on so you’re able to actually touch, stripper becoming a whore so to say.
But no, NOT ON THIS DEVICE you can’t. Nu-uh, this add-on is not compatible with your device.

What now? Get Opera and sideload?
Write an app to scrape Pornhub, Redtube and Xhamster?
I’m out of ideas.
But I know one thing. I will NEVER, EVER spend money on an Android device again.
In fact I won’t get a smartphone at all. All they do is track you and spy on you.

How did we get to this dystopian reality?
We’re being censored, tracked, told what we can and can’t do.
And by who? Not people with any legal authority.
Random assholes who run services that people use.
But how do we get people to not use those services?
Write better, alternate services?

Addendum:

I found the Kodi app and a Kodi addon named videodevil somehow work, but I don’t even remember where I got it from. So if you’re here looking for Porn on Android, maybe this will show you the right direction.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.